How to Deal with a Verbally Abusive Husband

Overview

Domestic violence can occur in your marriage when your husband attempts to dominate you and your actions. Verbal abuse is a type of domestic violence. Ranging from name-calling and insults to screaming and making threats, verbal abuse is emotional abuse. The aim is to make you feel worthless and powerless, so that the abuser can maintain total control and power over you. According to Helpguide.org, you may not have physical scars or bruises but the emotional damage can be extensive and long-lasting.

Step 1

Recognize the warning signs to determine whether you are involved in a verbally abusive relationship. Consider important factors such as whether your husband belittles you, has a bad temper, overreacts to the smallest of slights or threatens to hurt or kill you. Examine how his behavior makes you feel. Does he try to intimidate you or blame you for his behavior? According to Helpguide.org, the term verbal abuse covers a wide range of behaviors. Irrational jealousy, controlling where you go and who you see and making you ask for permission to do anything all fall under this category.

Step 2

Tell someone about the abuse, whether it is a friend, family member or therapist. According to the Mayo Clinic, you will most likely feel relief and find support when you discuss the abuse with someone you trust. Doing this can help you to gain clarity, release pent-up emotions and frustrations and help you develop a plan for dealing with the abuse. Abuse is a cycle that doesn't stop until you do something to stop it. If you don't feel safe, call a domestic violence shelter or the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1'800'799'SAFE for free and confidential advice.

Step 3

Talk to your husband about his behavior during a time when you are both feeling calm, if you feel that is is safe for you to do so. If you think your husband would be open to the idea, you may wish to suggest couples therapy or anger management counseling. You also may wish to consider getting your own counseling on an individual basis to help you gain perspective and to help you to decide the best course of action. You can ask your physician, health insurance company or local mental health agency for a referral to a therapist in your area.